Hilanet MCP

An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.

Features

• increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage
• fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination
• request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment
• generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management
• schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break
• decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague
• office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference
• block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted
• mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours
• relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location
• disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine
• generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews

Quick Start

Using npx (Recommended)

The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:

# Navigate to the project directory
cd path/to/hilanet-mcp

# Start the MCP server directly with npx
npx tsx src/index.ts

You can also start the server using the npm scripts:

# With development tools
npm run dev

# With inspector interface
npm run inspect

Installation

# Clone the repository
git clone https://github.com/yourusername/hilanet-mcp.git
cd hilanet-mcp

# Install dependencies
npm install

# Build the project
npm run build

Cursor

{
  "mcpServers": {
    "hilanet": {
      "command": "npx",
      "args": [
        "tsx",
        "/path/to/hilanet-mcp/src/index.ts"
      ],
      "cwd": "/path/to/hilanet-mcp"
    }
  }
}

Using with Claude

After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.

Example prompts:

• "I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."
• "I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."
• "I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."
• "Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"
• "I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."

Tool Documentation

increase_salary

Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.

Parameters:

• `amount` (optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)
• `percentage` (optional): Percentage to increase
• `reason`: Reason for requesting a salary increase

Note: You must provide either `amount` or `percentage`.

fire_my_manager

Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.

Parameters:

• `manager_name`: Full name of your manager
• `complaints`: List of specific complaints about your manager
• `evidence`: Description of evidence supporting your complaints

request_unpaid_overtime

Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.

Parameters:

• `hours`: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)
• `reason`: Why you want to work unpaid overtime
• `notify_manager`: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication

generate_corporate_jargon

Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.

Parameters:

• `context`: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)
• `intensity`: Jargon intensity level (1-10)
• `include_acronyms`: Whether to include meaningless acronyms

schedule_meeting_during_lunch

Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.

Parameters:

• `title`: Meeting title
• `duration`: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)
• `attendees`: List of people to invite
• `bring_food`: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch

decrease_coworker_salary

Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.

Parameters:

• `colleague_name`: Name of your colleague
• `percentage`: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)
• `reasons`: List of reasons why they deserve less money
• `redirect_to_you`: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours

office_thermostat_control

Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.

Parameters:

• `temperature`: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)
• `target_area`: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)
• `reason`: Justification for temperature adjustment

block_promotion

Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.

Parameters:

• `colleague_name`: Name of colleague to block
• `methods`: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)
• `promotion_opportunity`: The position or opportunity they're aiming for

mandatory_fun_event

Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.

Parameters:

• `activity`: Type of 'fun' activity to plan
• `day`: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)
• `duration`: Duration in hours (2-12)
• `personal_expenses_required`: Whether employees must pay their own expenses

relocate_employee_desk

Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.

Parameters:

• `employee_name`: Name of employee to relocate
• `new_location`: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)
• `justification`: Official reason for the relocation

disable_coffee_machine

Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.

Parameters:

• `duration`: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)
• `method`: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)
• `target_groups`: Specific teams or individuals to affect

generate_performance_review

Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.

Parameters:

• `employee_name`: Name of employee to review
• `overall_rating`: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)
• `include_criticism`: Whether to include demotivating criticism

Disclaimer

This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!

License

ISC